naya savera
- Awnish jha - chiranjiv goyal - Anand kumar - Ankit Ahuja - Anshul modi
Characters:
Balwant (Balli)
Sardaar (Guddu Babu)
Khujali
Aloknath (Aaloo)
Kanjilaal (Kanda)
Bonda Venkata Vardhamana Surendra Kumar (Bond)
Man
Scene:1
(Balli kisi sunsaan raaste se kahin jaa rha hai. Jharne se pani pi rha h.
Uske saamne achanak se kuchh log kud padte hain.)(Sardar hath me miraj liye aata h)
Balli: Arre baap re! Ye ye ye sab kya hai? aap log kahi mujhe lootne to nahi wale hain?
Sardar: nahi janab hum to aapki shaadi mein nachne aaye hain.
Balli: dekhiye aap jo kar rahe hain wo sahi nhi hai
Kanda: (totallate hue) abe chup!
Balli: dekhiye aap mujhe haath nhi laga sakte.
Kanda: abe lagaunga haath, kya kar lega?
Balli: kya kar lunga? Kya kar lunga??? Kya hi karunga!
Aalu: to mahashay aap apni nautanki nikaal k apne pichwaade mein daal
lijiye sanskaar se, aur apna saara maal shanti se nikal dijiye sanskaar se.
Balli: are daaku ji, aaj to aap kya aapke aaka bhi mere se kuch naa nikaal payenge.
Khujali: sardar, ye aise naa manega, aap kaho to iski abhi thikaane lagata hu.
Sardar: nhi khujali. Itni bhi kya jaldi hai. Garam khoon hai londe ka. Hum
naram kiye dete hain.
Balli: arre nhi-nhi sardar, humara khoon to baraf se bhi thanda hai. Aapki
tagdi muchhein dekh k to achhe-achhon ka bukhaar utar jaaye. Bhala
mai kis khet ka tamatar hu.
Sardar: to fir seedhi tarah se apan sara maal nikaal de. Warna hume ungli
tedhi karni bhi aati hai.
Balli: sardar, ungli seedhi rakho ya tedhi, ghee nikaalne ke liye sabse
pehle jaruri hai ki dabbe me ghee to honi chahiye. Ab muje jaise fate
dhol pe kitna bhi ungli firka lo, Zakir Hussain bhi aawaz nhi nikaal payenge.
Khujali: Sardaar, baatein bahot banata hai ye. Aise nhi maanega. Aap kaho
to mai iski…..
Balli: Are daaku ji, aap to kha-ma-kha gussa kiye jaa rhe hain. Mai to bas
itna keh rha ki mere paas naa ghar hai, naa gaadi hai, naa bangla hai….
Aur to aur, mere paas to maa bhi nhi hai… Kitna bhi khaak chhan lo, ab
jab mere paas kuchh hai hi nhi aapko milega kya?
Bond: Tere kahne se aise kaise maan le? Sardar hame iski talashi leni chahiye.
Sardar: Tum thik kehte ho bond. Khujli iski talashi lo.
Bond: Mai lunga, mai lunga talaashi…
Khujli: “hatt jaa, har jagah excited hone ki jarurat nhi hai” “abe haath
upar kar” “seedhe khare ho”.
Balli: Khujli bhaiyya, aap apni khujao na, meri kyun khujla rahe ho?
Khujli: abe chup!
Balli: are wo kya hain na gud-gudi ho rahi hai.
Khujli: “chup kar”. “Sardar iske paas to sach-much kuch nahi hai”
Balli: dekha! Main to pehle hi kah raha tha. Aap ho ki mane hi nahi.
Sardaar: To hum kya iska achaar daale… Chhod, jaane de ise.
(Sab use chhod k kinare me baith jaate hain. Balli wahin ruka/tahalta,
kuchh sochne lagta hai. Fir sardaar k paas aata hai.)
Balli: Sardaar, mai aapke saath kaam karna chahta hu.
(All laughs)
Kanda: Abhi vacancy nhi hai beta, agle saal apply karna.
Sardaar: Kyu bhai, kyu kaam karna hai humaare saath?
Balli: Bhala kyu naa join kru! Fit to job hai aapki. Placement procedure
ka koi jhanjhat nhi. Na koi written, na GD, na koi interview. Bina koi
investment ke khud ka startup. Or kaam bhi kitna aasan… chaaku
dikhaya or salary haath me.
Bond: Machaya, machaya, machaya. Hello brother, my name is Bond.
Bonda Venkata Vardhamana Surendra Kumar.
Balli: Aur mai Balwant.
Sardaar: (Bond ko pichhe karte huye)Abe hatt…
(Balli ko dhakka dete huye)
Nikal yahan se, time khoti mat kar.
Balli: Sardar ek bar meri bat sunlo. ….college me tha tab
maa gujar gai,or bap ne gham me dusri shadi kar li. Is bat ko leke ek din
hamme kaha suni ho gai, gusse me maine ghar chod diya or dosto ne
mujhe chod diya. Pese ki tangi me bhikh mangi pe aa gya. Gali-gali ghar
ghar dagar dagar thokar khata fira, janha jagah mili so gya, jo mila
so kha liya. Or jab bhukh sar pe sawar ho gai,to choti moti choriyan
karne laga.par is khel ka kacha khiladi aksar gacha kha jata h , kai bar
to pitte pitte bacha hu. Bas tang aa chuka hu is zindagi se.aap logo
mujhe apne sath le loge to meri zindagi ban jayegi.
Scene II
Sardaar: Aaj to bade khushi ka din hai. Balli ka janamdin hum bade
dhum-dham se manayenge.
Balli: Are sardaar, aapko yaad tha?
Sardaar: Aji barkhuddaar, aise kaise bhul jayenge. Tum to ye dekho ki kya
laaye hain hum tumhaare liye.
Balli: Are baap re! Ye to valyrian steel ki rampuri hai. Ye mere liye? Thank you,
Thank you sardaar.
Sardaar: Are mere sher, mere chiteh, aa baith...
Kanda: (Daru ki bottle nikaalte huye) Dekh Balli, tere janamdin pe
hum aaj kya laaye hain...
Balli: waah bhai!! maan gaye, aaj toh aapne jashan ki puri tayaari kar rakhi hai.
(Bond daaru ki bottle le k sabke liye serve karta hai)
Bond - Srimaan, Aloknath Ji, aap toh daaru nhi piyenge sanskar se?
Aalu - Azeeb baat karte hain aap bhi sanskar se!! Ab sanskar k
naam pe daaru thode hi chodd dunga .
Khujli: Woh kya kehte hain ji angrji me...
All- “Cheers”
Sardaar- Yeh angreji daaru me wo maza kahan, asli maza to
humara jile k deshi me aata tha .
Balli- Aapka ghar kahan tha sardaar? Aksar wahan ki baatein
karte hain aap… aap wahan se yahan kaise aaye?
Sardaar - Kareeb 10 warsh ho gye! Baat tab ki hai jab mai Singhrauli k
vishwavidyalay me padhta tha. Pariksha se ek din pehle humne
master ji ke kamre se parcha chura liya tha. Par master ji
hoshiyaar nikale. Unhone pariksha me parcha hi badal diya. Hume
gussa aaya or humne pariksha - bhawan me bomb phod diya.
Mere pitaji uss wakht singhrauli k MP the. Agle chunaaw me wo
chahte the ki unki jageh mai khada houn. Yuva neta Guddu Babu
ka jor-shor se prachar chal rha tha. Par us bomb wale kand me
main arrest ho gaya. Ek baar mauka dekh k main wahan se
faraar hua or aaj guddu babu yahan, tumhare sardaar bane baithe hai.
Kyu Khujli, tujhe toh yaad hoga?
Khujali: Kaise bhul sakta hu sardaar. Achhe se yaad hai mujhe wo din…
Aaloo tu peg bana yaar ek-ek or.
Sardar –peke ludakne se pahle khujli kuch khane ko leke aa.
All – ha ha bhai kuch leke aa.
Kanda: (peg banaate huye) Ye jaam bhi badi gazab ki cheej hai. Jab
sir chadh k bolti hai, to naa jaane insaan kin khayaalon me
ulajhne lagta hai.
Balli: Ab tum kon se khayaal me ulajh gaye bhai? Hume bhi batao jara...
Kanda: Hum kisaan the. 2 saal lagataar fasal barbaad ho gayi
or haar maan kar bapu ne khudkhushi kar li. Turant ye baat fail
gayi ki ek kisaan ne sukhe se pareshan ho k aatmhatya kar li.
Log bhukh hartal pe baith gaye. Sarkaar, jo ki ab tak chup thi,
achanak se 5 lakh ka muawaja dene ka wada kar baithi. Par wada
karna ek baat hoti hai or muawaja milna dusri... 4 lakh rupaye to
sala mukhiya hi daba k baith gaya.
Aaloo: Humne lakh minnatte ki ki humaare paise hume de do, kamina
bahane banata rha. Gussa ho kar ek din bhaiya ne chaku dikha
kar rupaye le liye.
Kanda: Chhuri maine uthayi or lutera Aaloo bhi ban gaya. Kamine
mukhiya ne thane me humdono pe loot ki rapat bhi likha di or
apne gunde bhi humaare pichhe chhod diye.
Aaloo: Police or uske gundon se jaan bachate hum sardaar se aa mile.
Bond: (Peg banate huye) Yaar tumlog bhi naa, Topic se bhatak jaate
ho. Aaj khushi ka din hai, aisi baaton ka naa to mauka hai or naa
hi dastoor. Aaj to bhai somras ki baat karte hain.
Balli: Ek baat bata Bond, mujhe aisa kyu lag rha hai ki tu khud se
bhaag rha hai? Dekh, nhi batana hai to mat bata. Par meri samajh
me to aaj mauka bhi hai or dastoor bhi. Sab apna dil halka kar rhe
hain, kuchh dard tu bhi baant le.
Bond: Peg uthao yaar sab log. (Sab ek-ek chuski lete hain) Mere
papa teacher the, ghar me maa k ilaaz k kharch or behen ki shaadi
ki tension se paison ki badi tangi thi. Sabki ummid meri naukari
pe tiki thi. Mai padhai me achha tha. Railway ka paper achha hua tha
mera. Par bhagwaan ne sala kismat pe hi moot diya. Sun ne me
aaya ki result me naam bas usi ka aayega jo 2 lakh rupaye pahuchaega.
Mai darr gaya. Darr gaya ki agar iss baar naam nhi aaya to kya hoga?
Chaaron taraf paise jugaadne k liye bhatakne laga. Sala dost,
rishtedaar, koi kaam naa aaye. Kehte hain vinaash kaale viprit buddhi.
Padosh me crorepati Agrawal ji rehte the. Unke bachhe ko utha liya or
unse 2 lakh ki firauti maang li. Chuk kahan se huyi ye to pata nhi par
paison se pehle police aa dhamki. Bachha chhut gaya. Mai
ghar-samaaj me kisi ko muh dikhane layak nhi bacha. Sab peechhe
chhut gaye- dost, or mai zindgi se bhaagta sardaar ki jholi me
aa gira. Socha tha railway ki naukari kar k shaan ki zindgi jiyunga…
par aaj dekho, logon ko loot k pet paal rha hu…
Balli: To bhala, bura kya kar diya? Lootne me bhala kya buraayi?
Ki hum daaku hain? Ki humne kaale kapde pehan rakhe hain? Arrey
bhai mujhe ye batao ki lootera kon nhi? Kya wo mukhiya lootera nhi tha
jisne Aaloo-Kanda k 4 lakh rupaye loote the? Kya Railway ka wo
system lootera nhi tha jisne tumhe apharan karne pe majboor kiya?
Safed kapde pehan k samaj k beech reh k koi dunia bhar ko loote to koi
use to lootera nhi kehta! Or lootere kahe jaate hain hum… kewal isliye
kyuki humara rehan-sahan alag hai, samaaj se dur… humne kapde
kaale pehan rakhe hain… sahi mayane me dost, hum me or baaki duniya
me koi khaas fark nhi… sab lootere hain… sab k sab… or jab puri duniya
looteri hi hai to bhala lootne me kaisa pachhtawa?
Aaloo: Ye tune lakh-take ki baat khi hai Balli. Mujhe to bas itna pata
tha ki Bharat ki jansankhya me humaari ginti nhi hoti. Par aaj ehshash hua
hai ki agar hum daaku hain to tum bhi lootere ho. Agar hum criminal hain to
tum bhi doshi ho. Or agar tum sareef ho to hum bhi tum me se ek hain.
(Kisi ki aahat aati hai)
Sardaar: Arre-arre koi aa rha hai…
Bond: Chhup jaao, chhup jaao…
(Ek insaan haath me bag liye aa rha hota hai or uske saamne saare
kud padte hain)
(Insaan bag le k ulte paaw bhaagne ki koshish karta hai, peechhe
se bali,Kanda dhar-dabochte hain)
Kanda: Arre-arre! Aise kaise…
Man: Dekho, mujhe jaane do. Iss wakht mera jaana bht jaruri hai…
Balli: To hum kon sa tumse shaadi rachana chahte hain… apna sara
maal nikaal k de do or chalte bano.
Man: Nhi-nhi! (Bag ko jor se dono haath se jakarte huye) Ye paise
mere bapu k ilaaz k liye hain… Ye mai tumhe nhi de sakta. Mai
haath jor k kehta hu, bhagwaan k liye mujhe jaane do.
Sardaar: To tu aise nhi maanega. Bali chhin iss se bag.
(Aaloo-Kanda use pakad k rakhte hain, bali uss se bag chhin
leta hai, Aaloo-Kanda use dhakka de k gira dete hain)
Kanda: Jaa ab jahan jana hai.
(Sab apni gufa ki taraf jaane lagte hain, wo banda uth k aata hai or
Khujali ki haath se bag chhinne ki koshish karta hai. Sardaar apni
chaku nikaal k uske pet me maar deta hai)
Sardaar: (Chaku se khoon pochhte huye) Aaj to janamdin ki khushi
doguni ho gayi… Kya loot haath lagi hai…
(Sab gufa ki taraf badh jaate hain. Balli khoon hota dekh k sann
reh jata hai. Wo khoon ko haath lagata hai, fir darr jata hai)
Balli: Ye kya ho gaya! Kya ye karunga mai ab? Jaan lunga logon ki?
Ek jeete-jaagte insaan ko meri aankhon k saamne inlogon ne kitni
aasaani se maar diya… Nhi-nhi… mai ye nhi kar sakta… mai iske
liye nhi bana hu… ye nhi karunga mai… mai abhi isi wakht yahan
se chala jaunga… haan, ye sahi hai… mai chala jaaunga yahan se…
Par… par mere jaane se kya ye sab ruk jaayega? Aaj ye mara hai,
kal koi or marega, parso koi or… or nirdosh log marte rahenge... Nhi
… mai nhi jaa sakta yahan se… Dunia me buraayi, buraayi ki takat
ki wajah se nhi, balki achhai ki kamjori ki wajah se hai… Shaam isliye
nhi hota ki badal ghir aate hain, balki isliye hota hai kyuki suraj khud
kchhin ho jata hai… aaj achhai kamjor nhi paregi... mujhe inhe
rokna hoga… inhe samjhana hoga ki ye galat hai… haha? Mai bhi ye
kya soch rha tha… inhe badalne ki? Kya bakri sher ko raasta dikha sakti hai?
Scene III
Bond: Arre bhai Balli yahan kyun baithe ho? Andar chal, jashn
chal raha hai.
Balli: Kis baat ka jashn? Kisi ko maarne ka jashn?
Bond: Balli, shuru mein jab humne sardar ko kisi ko maarte dekha
to teri tarah hi ham bhi saham gaye the lekin wakht ke saath-saath
sab theek ho jata hai.
(Aloo kanda aate hai.)
Aloo: Arre bhai kya baatein kar rahe ho sanskar se?
Balli: Aloo apne sanskaaro ko hi yaad kar raha hoon main. Bond,
Aloo, Kanda mai tumse sirf ek baat poochna chahta hoon, kya
hum sachme itna gir gaye hain ki paise lootne k liye kisi ki jaan
le lein! Kya hume kisi ki jaan lene ka haq hai?
Aaloo- haq… waah! Kya khoob kaha hai… haq! Ab jab haq ki
baat tumne kar hi di hai to mujhe ek baat batao jara… kya uss
mukhiya ko haq tha mere 4 lakh rupaye dabaane k? Kya
Railway k uss system ko haq tha Bond ko iss jungle me
dhakelne ka?
Bond: Balli, hum janam se daaku nhi the… Ye samaaj, iss
desh ne banaya hai hume daaku…
Balli: Bilkul sahi… hum janam se daaku nhi the… or
dakaiti humara shauk nhi, humari mazboori thi…
Kisi halaat se bebas ho humne ye pesha chuna tha…
par jara ye socho, Agar raah chalte kabhi accident ho
jata hai, to hum raaste par chalna to nhi chhod dete.
Zindagi mein utaar-chadav toh aate hi rehte hain,
toh hum har musibat pe apni zindagi jine ka tarika hi badal dein?
Bond: to tu is dhande mein aaya hi kyu tha?
Balli: Mujhe pehle laga tha dakaiti kya mast dhandha hai!
Chhuri bahar, paise andar. Par aaj humne ek ka khoon kar
diya…. khoon. Aaj humne ek insan ki hatya nahi ki hai, balki
do logon ko mara hai - isko, aur saath hi mein iske baap ko
bhi. Zindagi zeene ke kayi raaste hain aur humne sabse galat
raasta chuna hai.
Kanda: Bali raste chunne ka haq ham jese logo ko hai hi nahi.
Hum mehnat se kam karke jeena chahte the. Parantu y
duniya walo ne hame jeene nhi diya. Hamara ghar hamari
jameen hamari zindagi sabkuch inhone chin liya.
(Khujli enter)
Khujli: kya gapshap chal rahi h. or aaj kisko tapka …..di…ya…
… ….. (long breathing) bhai …..mera bhai ….kisne mara isko …
bhai…
Kisne mara isko…
(aaloo kanda ek dusre ki taraf dekhte h)
Bali: lo mar gya na koi apna……khujli….aaj tumhara bhai
mara h …aaloo kanda ya sardar ki wajah se nahi teri wajah se
…kash tu yanha nahi aata to y sab nhi hota. Abhi bhi waqt h
chod do y jagah .chod do ye kam.
Nahi to kal …aaloo tera bhi koi apna marega …
Khujli – Itne din tak kafi benaam begunah log maren hain
humari wajah se …. Par kabhi socha hin nahi ki kabhi
mere bhai ke saath bhi aisa ho jayega… ye nahi hona
chahiye tha …. Wo mujh se hamesha kehte the ye dhandha
chod do par maine kabhi uski nahi sunni … par aaj nahi….
Ab mai laut jaunga apni jindagi nai thareke se jene ke liye.
Aaloo- khujli, me tera dard samajh sakta hu,lekin ab in sab
baaton ka kya fayada? Sach toh yeh hai ki hum zindagi ki
daur mein itna aage nikal aaye hai ki ab peeche palat k dekh
tak nahi sakte.
Balli: Main samajh raha hoon ki tu kya kehna chahta hai.
Lekin ab bhi tu - tu kya ham - ek nayi zindagi ki shuruat
nahi kar sakte?
(Bond soch mein chup-chap rehta hai.)
Bond: Abe ye kya keh rha hai balli tu ? Nayi zindagi!!
Sardaar iss baat ke liye kabhi raazi nahi honge.
Balli: Baat sardaar ke dabaav ki nahi, tumhare chunaav ki hai .
Aloo: Balli ye bata agar hum nayi zindagi shuru karenge to
kya mukhiya jaise log humein phir se nahi lootege ???
Balli: Tu hi bata abhi tujhme aur uss mukhya me kya fark hai?
Tu wohi insaan banta ja raha hai jisse tujhe nafrat hai. Dekh
aloo, dunya me bure log hain toh ache log bhi hain. ye tujhe
chunna hai ki tu kin logon mai shamil hona chahta hai?
Alu: par hamare paas koi chara nahi tha.
(Sardaar enters)
Balli: Tum samajh nahi rahe. Tum ek dukandaar ho sakte the,
tum ek mazdoor ho sakte the, tum koi aur ho sakte the, par
tum ek daku ban gaye. Alok-Kanji mujhe yakin hai tum
zindagi mein isse behtar kuch kar sakte ho. Chhod do
iss jungle ko. Iss jungle me hum jaanwar bante jaa rhe hain.
Aur Bond, dekh, iske baap ko to uska beta nhi mila par
tumhari maa ko uska beta abhi bhi mil sakta hai, laut jaao
ghar. Yahan kuch nhi rkha hai. Or Khujli, tum bhi apna atit
bhulakar ek nayi shuruat karo. Main yeh nhi kehta ki aap log
police ko surrendar kar do, bas ye ki ab ek nayi shuruat ho,
EK NAYA SAWERA HO!
Sardaar: Kya bak rha hai Balli? Tujhe duniya ka ilm nhi hai.
Dar-dar ki thokarein khayega fir akal thikane aayegi.
Balli: Akal thikane aayi hai tabhi to aisa kah rha hu.
Khujli – Sardar y mera bhai tha.
Sardar – is dande me koi bhai bahan nhi hota. Bhai hi to
mara h, konsa pahad tut pada h. Ek bhai ki lash ko dekhkar
itna kamjhor pad gya.
Balli: Kamzor hum nhi, kamjor aap hain.
(Balli ko sardaar thappad maarta hai)
Balli: Kamjor hi to hain. Aap logon ne unko nhi loota jisne
aapko barbaad kiya hai, aapne uske badle me kamzoron
ko loota hai. Agar aapme himmat thi to kyu nhi aapne
unn logon se badla liya… Arrey aapme to sach ko
swikaarne ki bhi himmat nhi hai.
Sardaar: Teri to… (Chaku nikaal k aage badhta hai. Bond
uska haath pakad leta hai or haath se chaku le leta hai.)
Bond: Kya kar rhe ho sardaar?
Sardaar: Tu hat jaa beech se Bond.
Balli: Haan-haan, maar do mujhe… or tumhe aata bhi kya hai!
Sardaar: Abe chup ho jaa kaayar. Ek laash dekhi nhi ki…
Aakhiri baar keh rha hu… chala jaa yahan se…
Balli: Kitne kamjor par gaye ho aap sardaar… Achhai ki taraf
ek kadam uthane ki himmat tak nhi juta paa rhe.
Sardaar: To tu nhi maanega… (balli ki taraf badhta hai, uska
chaku nikaalta hai, or usi ko maar deta hai.) Ye le… bhagwaan
ko baantna ab gyaan..
(Sab Balli ki taraf daudte hain, usko pakadte hain, sambhalte
hain, wo dhire-dhire neeche girta hai, or marr jaata hai. Sab
uski laash pe vilaap karte hain.)
Sardaar: Abe kon si nayi zindgi… pagal kyu ho rhe ho tum sab?
(Sab ignore karte hain. Or vilaap jaari rehta hai.)
Sardaar: Mai kehta hu chhodo ise or nikalo yahan se… (Kanda ko
uthate huye) Sunaayi nhi de rha tujhe?
(Khujali uthta hai or chaku nikaal kar sardaar ko maarne daudta
hai. Usko pakad k bas chaku ghusaane hi wala hota hai ki background
se aawaaz aati hai, “Kya hume kisi ko maarne ka haq hai”)
Khujali: Marte-marte koi hume jeena seekha gaya sardaar… abhi to
aap yahan se jaao… jo humne aaj samjha wo shayad kabhi aapko
bhi samajh aaye.
…..
(Jhunjhalata hua sardaar stage se nikal jata hai)
… Bali tu chahta tha na ki hamari zindagi me ek naya savera ho …
Ab y sab chod denge.. Hum ek nayi suruat karenge.
[sab 4 log usko kandho pe uthate h or background se song bajta
h…(ujala hi ujala savera hoga)]